Again
by listen-to-the-birdies-sing
Summary: Rory's getting married. It's her big day, and then Jess turns up. Will she stay with her soon-to-be husband? Or does she realise that Jess is the love of her life?


"Okay, I'll leave you to get ready, kid."

The tears are free-falling down her cheeks and it breaks my heart.

I try to shoot her a reassuring smile, but even as I do it, I know that this isn't her heart breaking – these are happy tears.

She doesn't move until Luke grabs her arm and pulls her, avoiding my eyes. I know that his cheeks are wet too, but I don't say anything in fear of embarrassing him.

The room is silent and suddenly I'm filled with overwhelming joy. I'm getting married. This is my special day. But even as the thought crosses my mind, his face appears and I shudder.

No. Not today. This is my special day.

"Ror?"

My breathing catches in my throat. "YOU CAN'T COME IN! YOU CAN'T SEE ME IN MY WEDDING DRESS BEFORE THE WEDDING!"

I don't know why I'm screaming. After all, the only thing that's between us is the ever-so-slightly open door. His laugh is charming and stirs butterflies in my stomach.

The rain is pelting softly in the background and I once again thank the lord that we decided to have an in-door wedding, before we even found out the forecast (which was meant to be sunny, may I add).

"Don't worry, baby, I won't come in," he chuckles softly. I can't decide if it's more to himself of to me. "I just wanted to check how you're doing."

I smile and lean against the wall, the oposite side of the open door so he can't see me. "What, expect me to have run out on you?"

"Well..."

I laugh at his playful joke and shake my head. "Get out of here, I've got to finish getting ready. Unless you want a delay on our wedding."

He pauses for a moment. "Rory?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you."

Like every time I hear those words the butterflies in my stomach appear and I know I'm blushing. "I love you too, Dean."

I can hear his residing footsteps after he's pulled the door shut and I close my eyes. I was so thankful to have Dean. Despite everything in our past, we'd managed to get back together and stay together for a full year.

That's right, twenty-four and he's getting married for the second time. But that's okay because- well, he's Dean. _My _Dean.

I turn and walk back to my mirror, sitting down in front of the white desk/mirror. It's beautiful, and I'd like to take it home with me.

I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are the same bright-blue that they've always been. My hairs cut the way _he_ likes. I bite my lip. If I don't stop thinking about him I'm going to cry.

I brush my hair back, pinning the last out-of-place curl with a bobby-pin.

My friends had insisted on helping me get ready, but I wanted to do this on my own. I needed to do this on my own.

_KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_

I smile. Mum's finally gotten out of Luke's firm hold on her? "Come in."

The door opens and closes and I look up in the mirror, my breathing ceases.

**Jess.**

"Hi Rory,"

I don't know how many times he's said it, but I suddenly snap back into the present and I stand up, spinning around so I can look him in eyes.

He looks me up and down and sucks in a gasp of air. "You look beautiful, as always."

I scratch my palm with my fingernails that Dean made me stop biting, much to my dismay. "Jess … what are you doing here?"

He ignores my question. "But you've never failed to take my breath away."

"Jess … what are you doing here?" I don't mean for my voice to sound as harsh as it does, but either way I can't take it back and I'm not sure I want to.

He blinks then clears his throat. He hasn't changed much since the last time I saw him – the book store where we kissed and then I left him.

His eyes are still bright and inviting, giving nothing away to other people, but showing me everything he's feelings. Today, I don't _want_ to see the feelings that are in his eyes.

"So you and Dean-"

"Yeah," I finish, knowing what he's going to ask.

He nods his head slowly and then licks his lips. "Well he's a lucky guy to have you."

I close my eyes, knowing he's watching me. Why does it hurt so much to hear those words from him? Is it because I've never really gotten over Jess?

Even Dean knows I've never gotten over Jess – I made it quite clear to him, and he made it quite clear he could get over that, as long as I didn't see Jess again.

Well, when I'd agreed, I hadn't thought I'd ever see Jess again – I thought that Jess hated me with a passion. Obviously not if he's here.

A minute of silent passes before I open my eyes and he's standing closer than he was before, only a few feet standing between me and his arms. "Rory, how'd I ever let you slip away?"

I shake my head. "Jess, don't do this. I'm marrying Dean-"

"Oh come on! That guy?! The guy who broke up with you at a public event-"

"Because I was with you!"

He shakes his head. "In a completely perfect world you guys wouldn't have met. Like, he was in our way the whole time we were getting together!"

I glare at him. This can't be happening. "Jess I'm getting _married_."

"Yeah, but you shouldn't be marrying _him_!"

I blink, putting my hands up to my face. "WHY?!"

He throws his hands out in front of him, signalling at me. "Because you should be with_ me_! You shouldn't be that radiant with Dean."

I dig my fingernails into my palms. "Jess!"

"I know! I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be saying these things. But I have to say one thing before you go out there and marry that guy."

Before I have a chance to tell him to get out, he hurries on. "I still love you. I haven't stopped and I _never_ will. I don't want to see you and me end. So just- come home … with me."

I feel like my hearts been torn out and is laying on the white carpet.

How can this be happening?

My stomachs dropped and I stand there staring at him.

_He still loves me_? _He still wants me_?_ He wants me to go home with him_?

Not moments, but a number of minutes pass where I just stand there, staring at him, blinking occasionally.

He licks his lips and shakes his head. "Could you say something?"

I blink.

"Say anything at all! I can't handle the bloody silence-"

My voice sounds passion-filled and broken, raw. "I'm getting married, Jess."

He suddenly moves towards me and my brain doesn't comprehend to move backwards, so he puts his hands on my arms and looks me in the face. His breath smells like mint and his own taste – like it always has. "I know! I know I should have told you before. I know that this isn't the place _or time_ to tell you. But I can't- I can't bear the thought that I could lose you once and for all."

I look into his eyes, shaking my head and knowing that my hair is going to be a mess. "Why, Jess? Why tell me now? Why bring back all of the _shit_ from the past-"

"If I could turn back the hands of time and had a chance to right my wrongs … well I wouldn't have let you walk out of the store. I would've held you twice as strong as I did any of the times before, and I would've loved you twice as much."

My stomach drops even further. "Jess-"

His lips are pushed up against mine.

All of the feelings I've been hiding for the past year come flooding to the surface and I can't stop myself from wrapping my hands around his neck as he puts his hands on my waist.

As our tongues clash together in a mixture of passion and loss, I know I'm going to cry. I know I can't do this now.

He pulls back suddenly and grasps my hands in his own. "Don't marry him. It will break my heart – and I know you love me, too."

"Jess," my voice is barely a whisper.

He shakes his head looking totally vulnerable. "Leave him a note. He'll understand in the end-"

"Jess," I whisper again.

And all that I can see and hear is the rain in the background.


End file.
